At this time in history there is so much Hope for those with cancer. Offer your loved one with cancer the reassurance of a hug. Refer to your loved one with cancer as a survivor — not a patient — not a victim. At CanCare we say that anyone who is still standing after they hear, “You’ve got cancer,” is a survivor. A cancer diagnosis is a crisis, but do not assume your loved one will die of cancer. After treatment, more than 55% of cancer survivors live out their normal lifetime cancer-free.

Your loved one with cancer needs to talk about what has happened. Your family member will give you clues about how he/she wants to be treated. Your loved one needs a place to express honest feelings without judgment. It is helpful to stay in touch. Find ways to show you really care.

Remember cancer affects the whole family. The whole family needs attention. Show kindness and respect to one another.  Each person responds to the diagnosis in their own way.

Love and support your loved one. Cancer survivors do not need pity.  Pity does not help morale. Encouragement gives confidence to face the realities of cancer. Remember your survivor loved one is likely to feel lonely and afraid. Write a note. Give a book or a video for a laugh. Make a favorite dish. Show love by celebrating life.

Pray for your loved one with cancer. Channels for healing are opened by your prayers. Remember God wants all of us to be healthy, whole, happy people. God’s presence brings peace.

Tears are okay. Though there can be a temptation to “protect” your loved one by hiding your feelings, realize that your family member may also need to cry with you.  When you share feelings, even though they may be hard, it prevents the loneliness of dealing with difficult feelings on your own.

It is only a word for the disease, not a sentence. It makes the survivor feel bad if you always avoid the word and refer to cancer as “your problem”.

Avoid making all decisions on behalf of your loved one. Allow the survivor be a part of decision-making.  Sometimes he/she may need the normalcy of day-to-day decisions.

Do not say, “Call me any time,” if you don’t mean it. Think about what you can offer, and say what you are willing to do: “I can drive you anywhere, or do any errand for you on Tuesdays,” or “I’ll make the dinner the next two Monday nights.”

Your loved one may be tired from treatment. Try to encourage friends to come for short, upbeat visits or make positive phone calls. Your loved one needs success stories, diversion, Hope, friendship and you may need respite from care.  Encouraging friends, coworkers, other family member contact shows love and consideration. Ask friends to call before they visit. It is likely that your family member may have good days and bad days so you need to be flexible with visitors.